So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I wear drunk well.
Randomize