my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
