Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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