this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I AM VODKA MAN
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
