I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
