I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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