i permit you to call me
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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