I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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