used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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