I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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