wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
