You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
