I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
