I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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