My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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