shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
