i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
