Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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