Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
PANTIES FOUND
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