I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
