i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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