i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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