so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
