She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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