So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
