So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
