in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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