yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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