We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
