I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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