ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
