I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
