So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
