She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
