I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
