you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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