I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
