It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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