We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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