I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
there was a trapeze. enough said
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
