I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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