I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
