I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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