So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
