i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
