Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
