I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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