The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
