Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
