the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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