so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
