Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
