Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
