we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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