the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
