I am puke
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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