she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
