it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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