Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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