Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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