carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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