The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
