you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize