Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
