Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
