I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
