So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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