thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
