im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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