why didn't you poke me back
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
True college students do jello shots in the library
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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