Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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