so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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