YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
