I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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