I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
